Pleasure Over Productivity

Life is continually offering us bliss in each moment, but how often do we take up those offerings?

This morning I woke up a little stressy. As soon as the boys went back to their dads last night I went on a frantic cleaning spree, picking up food and toys left from the weekend (to be honest, I get sad cleaning it sometimes as it means they’re no longer in their beds in the room next to me. With this in mind, I am grateful for the mess.) I also went over the previous week’s to-do list as it was beginning to get messy, and I opened a new journal to re-write and organise my list for the coming week. I was structuring my week with my list of to-do’s, day by day, and I felt the overwhelm kick in a little. I guess this is what we get living in a masculine state (structure, order, to-do’s, etc.) when we so badly need rest and recovery. My body was talking to me, and I didn’t listen – ooowee it’s a practice!

So, of course, I woke up feeling stressy. I didn’t allow myself to settle, detach, let go and calm. I didn’t gift myself the time to be at ease in my body which is something I promised myself I’d commit to. Gosh, it’s easy to slip into old ways – but of course, when we are 95% driven by our subconscious mind, being conscious is a practice.

“It’s a constant practice
maybe one we will never master
but maybe the mastery
is the practice itself”

I so wanted to jump up and get straight into my work and start ticking things off the list so I could finally feel relaxed and at ease, but this is outsourcing, i.e. sourcing something outside of ourselves to feel the way we desire to feel (for me, at ease, relaxed and in flow). As I said in Blog #1, I commit to honouring my feminine.

Instead of jumping into work, I drank my lemon water, sat in a guided meditation for 15 minutes, put on some music, lit some incense, made my breakfast, avocado and hemp seeds on sprouted quinoa toast with rose petal tea, and did my journalling. It helped but I still felt that pull to start ticking things off. That feeling of needing to tick things off the list made me NOT do that, and instead, I made a cacao and went to the beach. I connected to the earth, closed my eyes, felt held by Mother, and opened my heart and mind, letting go of the stories of the mind as I sipped my cacao and listened to the waves as they splashed onto the shore. I began to feel grounded, detached from work, and in tune with the truth.

The truth… that my (our) mind stories, to-do lists, and even money, are all made up. It’s all made up. It’s all made up. It’s all a part of my conditioning which I am detaching from. I desire to live here in this moment, connected to the abundant flow of the Universe, in my bliss, in my joy, where my heart opens and I receive, where I can safely be in my feminine with absolute trust, where I experience pleasure (pleasure being defined as anything pleasurable, related or unrelated to sex).

I went for a swim in the cooling salt water and soaked up the ocean’s offerings, the salt, minerals, refreshment, and teachings of flowing with the waves, i.e. some of that abundant flow of the Universe I was referring to, and I walked home in a completely different state.

I choose pleasure and bliss, over my “priorities” and “productivity”.

I choose faith over fear.

I choose love.

My need to tick things off my to-do list, to prioritise those things, when I really felt into my body, was all coming from a place of fear and control. A place of needing to be “together” to avoid overwhelm, which evidently just overwhelmed me – go figure!

The truth is, when we are in this energy, we only attract more of the same. You attract more circumstances and situations where you’ll live in this perpetual state of fear, control, and anxiety. It’s the law of attraction. Like attracts like.

BUT when you consciously choose to live in a different energetic state, when you choose your own damn frequency, you ultimately say, “Thank you, Universe, more of this please”. Again, you attract who you are, the frequency you’re choosing to be in, and your level of awareness on a moment-to-moment basis as the deciding factor.

So, what do you desire more of in your life? How do you want to feel? What is the vibration at which you desire to live in? And… how can you choose this NOW?

It might mean, in each moment relaxing your nervous system as a conscious choice to feel safe letting your to-do list go (because let’s be honest, you’re more productive in a joyful, energised state anyway).

It might mean noticing your resistance to your own pleasure, to feeling your own joy before you try to give joy to others. As women, we are conditioned to give before we receive or give BECAUSE we receive, which is exactly why we are burnt out and uninspired. An inability to receive could be a result of underlying feelings of not feeling worthy of that joy. It could be stemming from years of conditioning that you need to put others first, that you NEED to be productive BEFORE you can gift yourself any kind of time to feel at ease and in joy. It’s on you to change this wiring.

It might mean feeling out a tonne of discomfort first… and that is ok! In fact, it will be fucking liberating for you. I promise.

Connect to your body, breathe into the discomfort, and then open your heart and mind to the abundant offering of the Universe in each moment.

Any time fear or control is in the driver's seat, you’re living by your past conditioning. Any time you’re prioritising your own damn pleasure, you’re taking back the reigns, you’re choosing the real you, you’re choosing now, you’re choosing love.

On that note, let me end with this…

Choosing pleasure over “productivity” means you’re beginning to prioritise pleasure. When you prioritise pleasure, you’re making a big, bold, beautiful statement to the Universe that you’re worthy of MORE of this.

“Yes, thank you, more please.”

 

PS. I decided to write this blog post before looking at my to-do list still because 1. I choose ease and flow, and 2. fuck the system.