4 Ways to Inspire The MAN in a Man
I’ll begin by saying I have a very strong masculine within me. This part of me came forth when I didn’t feel like I had a secure, healthy masculine man in my life, which wasn’t until I was 34, by the way. So for most of my life, I felt forced to be in my masculine energy to feel safe. I would do everything for myself, wouldn’t trust others to do things for me (especially men), didn’t feel comfortable receiving, I’d pay for everything, I felt unsafe with men, and generally unsafe in the world. I had a protective shell around me and walls up around my heart. And at the same time, I craved men to feel whole and worthy, which created painful cycles in my life.
So don’t take it lightly when I say I had to do a lot of work to help my feminine feel safe and lead in life. It took deep healing to inspire her to fall into the arms of a man with trust. And at the same time, this work, and being able to have a man hold me knowing he won’t drop me, is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. I truly believe every woman desires this deep down, and every woman deserves this.
I get it, though, it’s a wild ride out there, and a lot of men are still yet to show up and do their own healing work. But there are still ways you can inspire the masculine in a man, whether he is on his healing journey or not, to show up for you, protect you, and help you feel like a safe, protected woman. Because honestly, beautiful… it starts with you and your own feminine embodiment.
If you’ve found your way to this blog post, you’re likely a woman who wants to soften, who wants to feel taken care of, and who wants to see her man show up and lead more (and to be able to trust his lead). Or maybe you’re a woman who is ready to manifest her man. Either way, these four P’s for inspiring masculine energy will support you with any man in your life, whether an intimate partner, friend, co-worker, or otherwise.
The 4 P’s to Inspire the Masculine
1. Praise
He doesn’t respond to attack, he responds to appreciation.
Most men have a very deep wound of not feeling good enough. So much is expected of them in our culture. They’re expected to earn enough, be “man” enough, be attractive enough. And many have childhood wounds, whether from parenting or school, where they didn’t feel good enough, behaved enough, or worthy of the praise they needed as a child. It runs deep in the wounded masculine.
This means that when you attack, complain, or tell him that you’re upset that he didn’t take the trash out again, it instantly triggers his “I’m not enough” wound. He doesn’t hear that he didn’t do something good enough; he hears that he is not good enough. And when he is in this state, he cannot take in what you are asking. He cannot hear you because his pain body is activated.
This is why you can say something 1000 times and he still won’t receive it the way you intend. So… change your approach.
PRAISE him. When he does something, even the smallest thing, tell him how much you appreciate it.
“Babe, thank you so much for taking out the bins, that takes such a load off. My love, I appreciate you!”
You may be thinking, “Why should I praise something that should be done anyway?”
Well… do you want more of it or less of it?
What you appreciate appreciates… including him.
I tell my love often how grateful I am for him, how much he helps my body relax and open, and how much I appreciate him providing for us. And it only inspires him to show up MORE. The key? I don’t expect it, I inspire it. And it helps me soften my body and heart even more.
2. Protection
The grounded, healthy masculine is naturally a protector.
He wants to know you feel safe and protected. One of the most inspiring things you can say to bring out the healthy masculine energy in him is:
“I feel safe with you.”
Now, obviously, this is challenging if you genuinely do not feel safe with him. This calls for some self-enquiry. It could be that you’ve had trauma with the masculine (let’s face it, most of us have), which may need loving attention and support to heal. Or it could be that he’s simply not yet a safe man. You may need healing of your own, or you may need to set boundaries or even leave the relationship, whatever that relationship might be. If you need support to discern this for yourself, reach out.
Right now though, let’s talk about a man you do or can feel safe with. There may be moments where you genuinely feel safe with him, where you feel protected and relaxed with him. When these moments arise, even if few and far between, TELL him.
“I feel so safe with you right now.”
“I feel like I can relax with you.”
“Thank you for helping me feel safe.”
This will reach his heart in new ways and inspire him to show up MORE as your protector, activating his divine masculine.
If he hears, “I don’t feel safe with you,” it will more likely trigger his inadequacy wound. To be honest, though, I have said this to my love. There have been moments where I’ve felt my heart closing, and in those moments, I don’t attack. Instead, I say:
“Babe, I feel so safe with you, and I’d love to keep my heart open. It would feel so supportive if you could (just listen / hold space / … ).”
This is softer, easier for him to hear, and usually helps him reflect on how he is showing up.
When you inspire your man’s protector, your body relaxes, your heart opens, and pleasure reaches a whole new level.
3. Providership
Men are natural providers, but most are misinformed about how to provide for a woman.
Culture tells men that providing equals money. And while money can be part of it, true provider energy is so much deeper.
Providing, in my eyes, is less about dollars and more about offering opportunities for a woman’s body to relax and open. This could look like:
providing leadership
helping with the kids or housework
providing emotional presence (huge one)
holding space for her without fixing (again, huge)
creating moments where she can rest
offering stability, direction, or reassurance
When a man provides in these ways, he inspires your feminine energy, and you begin to soften, open, and melt into life’s pleasures more deeply.
So, how do you inspire his providership?
Not by telling him he isn’t providing… that only triggers the “I’m a failure” wound. Instead, tell him how taken care of you feel.
“Thank you, my love, for taking out the bins. I feel so taken care of. I appreciate you.”
Or
“Hey babe, I am feeling a lot right now. You don’t need to say anything, all I would really love is if you could just hold me and be with me. It would make me feel so safe. Can you provide that for me?”
When he hears the word provide, it often awakens his masculine leadership instantly. And when he does show up, tell him how grateful you are for him.
4. Polarity
The Law of Polarity — Who are YOU being?
(This is where masculine and feminine dynamics truly shift.)
There is a part of me that shows up at times, the masculine within me who loves to do, tick things off the to-do list, and get sh*t done. And my gosh, I am good at it, I get things done in record time. It feels like a superpower.
But it also has its shadow. Over time, I become overwhelmed, pulled out of the present moment, stressed, and eventually burnt out.
I LOVE this part of me, but when it shows up and I am not also embodied in my feminine, something interesting happens…
The attraction dies in my relationship.
Healthy masculine men don’t want to f*ck masculine women, they want to feel your feminine embodiment, not your armour. He wants a woman who is surrendered (not submissive, but surrendered – big difference). He wants a woman who can soften around him, who feels safe in his arms, who can trust his lead, and who can BE and receive.
Let’s face it, most of us have felt like we need to be in our masculine, and so it feels safer not to surrender to life, but if you’re at one end of the pole (masculine), the man who is attracted to you is likely going to be at the other (feminine).
Most of us have felt like we needed to be in our masculine to survive. But when you live there permanently:
you block attraction
you signal “I don’t need you”
you attract feminine-energy men
or you energetically emasculate your partner
To attract masculine energy or inspire it within a partner, the first place to look is within yourself.
Ask yourself:
Can I trust life more deeply?
Can I soften a little more?
Can I surrender some control?
Can I surrender to the mystery of life?
Can I sit in moments of pleasure and make love to life?
Can I receive with grace and gratitude and say YES and thank you, without feeling the need to return the favour?
Can I feel my emotions instead of managing them?
Can I be an embodied feminine woman?
An embodied feminine woman doesn’t just mean softness; it also means feeling safe and surrendered in the full range of your emotions, and it also means being connected to your own masculine to hold space for your emotional wildness. Because without allowing your own inner masculine to hold you, your emotions may feel chaotic or overwhelming. A man will feel safe to be your safe container, more so when you can be this for yourself.
When you embody this balance within, you inspire relationship polarity organically and magnetically.
You attract what you are being.
Life is a mirror.
As within, so without.
Let these words inspire you to delve into your own being with love and curiosity… because when you do, you realise magic truly does exist.
As within, beautiful.
Tara x
If you want to step into deeper embodiment, emotional safety, feminine surrender, and relationship polarity, I’m opening a limited number of spaces for 1:1 coaching.
This is where you learn to soften without losing your power, receive more by doing less, and call forth the man who can truly meet you.
